Members Blog:
August 10, 2010
(Is not a girl and does not play one on the internet)
Porn destroys anyone it touches regardless of gender, and often you won’t realize it until it’s too late.
What’s appealing about it is that it’s instantly gratifying and there’s absolutely no fear of rejection or actual effort involved. All it takes is to google search your desired woman type / fetish and within minutes you have it.
I started looking at it in high school. Just ‘regular’ naked pictures here and there, but over time it escalated and I needed MORE. It’s an addiction, plain and simple. You need to delve deeper and deeper and act out longer (sometimes hours at a time) in order to get the same high, and if you go even a few days without it you’ll get withdrawal symptoms (headaches, nausea, etc…).
What happened is that I closed myself off from real friendships and relationships. The first thing I did after I got home from school every day was masturbate, usually while thinking of some attractive girl at school. In this way I must have ‘slept’ with like 15-20 different people.
There was one girl that I really did like, but even then I was so twisted and I’m not sure how much of that was actually genuine love and not just the desire to have sex with her. Anyway, we were friends and without getting into a long story I screwed it up horribly. She rejected my advances and ended the friendship, and after that I just went numb and withdrew deeper into myself.
During all this time I had no real friends, porn was my only friend. I graduated high school and then did… nothing. Nothing but get even further addicted to porn since it was all I had.
I’m glad that there’s no prostitutes around here or that I don’t have much money, because I’m positive I would have made use of them over and over otherwise.
I’ve never had a girlfriend, been kissed, or had sex. I still have no friends, no prospects and have absolutely no hope of ever getting together with a good woman and starting a family because of how screwed up I am. I am nearly 25 years old, lonely, depressed and bitter over who I have become and I am still tempted to go back to porn, even though it destroyed my life, because I figure ‘It’s all I have’.
If I had known this would have happened to me I would have NEVER started looking at porn or masturbating.
God is pretty much all I have, and if it weren’t for Him I would have probably killed myself years ago.
August 10, 2010
PLEASE PRAY… My 25 year marriage ended when I discovered my husbands secret condo which he used for his hard-core porn. He decided he could not afford our home AND his dirt filled condo so he left. This of course was all my fault.
….yes, we had been happy…yes, the change in him could only be described as DEMONIC and believe me it will cut down anything in its way…stay very close to your Christian faith and pray for protection for you and your children…remember…these formerly decent men are having sick-sex with MACHINES which demand the rejection of their wives, homes, churches, decency and morality..THEY ARE BEING CONSUMED..THIS IS VERY REAL DANGER TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY….TAKE ACTION AGAINST THIS AND LOOK FOR PROTECTION FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!!
Survivor
June 8, 2010
I’m not a girl, but I have always appreciated girls that have no place for porn in their relationships. I unfortunately got into porn when I was younger and have struggled to stop for some time now. I am glad to say though that I’m finding lots of support and help. I am even helping others to understand and face their own addictions. I have friends who’s husbands got into porn and refused to stop, breaking up their families. It’s a big threat to unity in marriage or any relationship for that matter.
If you know anyone that needs a little help or support, have ’em drop by to grab our success map to freedom from porn addiction for free.
I LOVE what you girls are doing here! Keep it up! And for anyone who’s struggling or knows someone that is, know that hope IS real!
freedomfromporn
May 1, 2010
my boyfriend says its normal to look at porn. its only normal because all guys are perverts. i swear to god i’ve almost had enough of this. he’s always hiding it, and our sex life has SUCKED lately. I’m about to go crazy. I’ve had enough. i tried to be open minded, but in the end its just disgusting and perverse. i hate my boyfriend for having no self control.
anon
May 1, 2010
My roommate plays porn and woke me up. He’s gross and all he does is watch porn, and masterbate. Please help… he has no friends or social life.
May 1, 2010
Dear GAP
I found out about porn when I was thirteen and I have never felt okay with myself since. I have been so miserable and I feel ugly and worthless..
I read the poem Barbie Doll by Marge Piercy, but all it did was make me feel worse. I don’t believe that anyone could want me for who I am when women in porn look like they do. Porn doesn’t need comforting or hugs or presents on its birthday. Porn is easier than having a real relationship. This is why I’m giving up. Thank you for fighting something that hurts many women every day. kat.standfield@gmail.com
Kat
April 21, 2010
I am 19 and I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now and I discovered porn on his computer. It REALLY bothers me and insults me because I see him everyday and I think I please him enough. I don’t understand why guys that are in a relationship need to watch porn, especially when they are being please EVERYDAY. It’s insulting to me like Im not good enough for him and I feel very insecure maybe because they’re porn stars and they are a lot sexier, prettier and kinky and know how to please their partner maybe in a way that other girls don’t. I told my boyfriend I do not want him to watch it anymore and he listened. We had a huge talk and he promised and promised he would never do it anymore because he cares so much about my feelings. I would spy and never find it. Recently I was talking to some of my friends and they were saying how I shouldn’t take it away from him. But I feel like if something hurts someone that much, if it’s how they feel, they should follow it. So I followed it and kept my word and I feel like I should be able to ban it from him because if I mean that much to him, porn shouldn’t matter. But after talking to my girlfriends, I thought okay maybe I’ll offer it to him and say Im not going to flip out but I want him to tell me when he does it. He said, don’t worry Im not going to do it but if I do I will tell you….Well so much for that, I found it on his computer the next day. Maybe it’s awkward for me to tell him to tell me, but he still went behind my back after promising me and promising me…He claims that it doesn’t turn him on anymore, that he doesn’t jerk off, its just “something to watch”. He PROMISES that but I feel like that is so hard to believe and I just want to know the truth soooooo bad. Like why he really watches it or what he really does while watching it and that all he’ll say…that he just watches it because its something to watch, it doesn’t turn him on at all…So I don’t know what to believe but the thought of him watching it and me not knowing if he’s getting off to it, KILLS ME. I don’t know what to do…ban it or let it go? I just don’t wanna let it go cause its how i feel.
julia
April 14, 2010
ugh i thinks its absolutely disgusting, and degrading to women, why why?!! why do women record themselves and post it up, it corrupts innocent and is just bleghhhhhhhh and men nowadays even women think its a good thing, i don’t know but what is wrong with them?
anon
March 25, 2010
This topic is so important to me not only because I am against the de-humanization of women, but was a victim to it as well. I found out my husband who I felt I could trust more than anyone had been looking at porn on my computer, who has no interest in computers at all and has been for half of our marriage. We have been married three years and together five. I had never felt so humiliated, so ugly and horrified all at the same time! I was working so hard, had been in college for five years working full time and to find out he had been doing this to me was truly devastating and one of the lowest points of my life. He was someone that was not only my husband but my best friend, he is hard working and helps me out so to find this out and seeing every picture on my computer that he has looked at makes me sick! We are still together and have been fine since. He truly does not understand that I can forgive him, but will never FORGET it. I know my story isn’t close to the pain other women have felt, but the true question I had for him and myself was “when would he have stopped? What if pictures could no longer satisfy him? what lengths would he have gone to feel satisfied? I thought I gave him that! I truly feel if there is no more satisfaction from pictures that men will go certain lengths such as cheating on their wives/girlfriends to possibly forcing one to have sex. Why, after so many years haven’t we been able to stop it? MEN! They lead our country, its a dominance thing! A control thing having power over women!I feel men rape for control over women as well. I wish there was something I could do. God knows what the future holds for the porn world. This topic is so strong to me I have questioned my faith. How can God create men with this demon inside of them, a dangerous curiosity? I definately do not feel the same about men, probably never will. I thought women who suffered from a male addiction to porn was their fault in some way, maybe they wouldn’t please their own man, I now know that that was a horrible, couldn’t be more wrong assumption. Women celebrities such as Sandra Bullock, Fergie, Elin Woods even get cheated on by their men and the women are usually ugly or slutty who they cheat with. Is a curiosity, something different for them. If this happens to other women out there and I know it does, do not blame yourself, IT IS NOT YOU, its a curiosity. We can make a difference, all WOMEN WE NEED TO CHANGE SOMETHING OR THE FUTURE IS GONNA BE UGLY FOR US.
Brandi_56
February 5, 2010
I think porn is so common today that people think its only natural to look at porn but is it natural to prefer it I think thats what happens to many people after they view it for awhile they become addicted to it so does that mean the only women worth looking at or men for that matter are the perfect ones that are 18 to 20 does this not lead to dissatisfaction of ones partner after awhile because all you ever look at are perfect young bodies which you become addicted to looking at and maybe thats all you think of is this a good thing I don’t think so does intimacy online take away from your real relationship does it mean something is missing some people say its just for fun what are people looking for a thrill trying to fill an empty spot in what they feel is a dull life so the only thing that can fill that spot is a 18 teen year old girl how does that make all the fathers around the world feel that most men like to look at their teen daughters in a sexual way I believe porn can become addictive and that doesn’t mean I’m a prude not at all Im not saying its not normal to be attracted to young beautiful women but its something you have to be careful of it can lead to unhappiness with who your with even if they are attractive who can compete with pages and pages full of perfect girls no one not even the girls in the pages.
January 27, 2010
its just not fair anymore, women are more and more being treated as nothing more than sex objects by the media and porn industry ! …I’m from the UK and no matter what shop i walk into the magazine shelf is crammed FULL of sexual images of naked women…and its not just top shelf anymore… lads mags are nothing more than mainstream porn (even more offensive and dangerous as they seem to use impossibly perfect women with which noon could EVER compare ! and yet these magazines are spread all over the shelves in direct eye level…many times I’ve found them at the checkout at the eye level of my 5/6 year old sons!!! …not only this but the magazines directed at women are covered in women …semi naked women!!! …and i have to say …unless you go to a huge specialist store there is absolutely no magazines with explicit pictures of men on the cover!!! and even on the very rare occasion when you do see them they are directed at gay men!!!… page 3 girls are now page one girls (on the cover of tabloids…and these are on stands OUTSIDE of shops …you cant even avoid them by not going in!!!) …not to mention the endless billboards with images on them! i watched an interview with jerry hall some time ago, she was talking about a theatre production she was involved in …they developed a poster for the show which showed the image of jerry hall walking with a few leads in her hands and on the end of the leads were some seductively clad muscle bound “hunks” …ok nothing that we haven’t seen a hundred times before with females in the place of the erotic men on many billboards , magazines , posters etc ….so how on earth did it come to be that this particular poster was BANNED????? double standard much!!! men couldn’t stand a place where men were treated the way that women are treated right here right now! …they’d feel so inadequate so disrespected so sick that the biggies in the media company actually BAN what we women have to deal with every day …in our faces 1 in our mens faces! in our childrens faces!!! I’ve tested this with a couple of my exes who have said to me “its just pictures of naked women , its just page 3…its just harmless pictures! ” i said to them just how would YOU feel if everywhere you went , everywhere you looked , every magazine and newspaper cover there were images of naked /half naked gorgeous , perfect muscle men in erotic poses designed to tiltalate your girlfriends/ mothers / daughters turn on your girlfriend in your place and make you feel worthless??? and there was nothing you could do about it ? …both of them looked horrified and said “i’d hate it , i’d feel sick and ewww thats the worst thought” just what will it take to make men realize just how much they are hurting their women??? when i found out my husband was into porn behind my back my whole family fell apart !
now I’m with a guy who used porn i feel like i will never match up to other girls he’s “seen” and i always have to wonder when a lewd image will jolt back into his memory…maybe it will even be when we are intimate!!! and i have to live my life heartbroken knowing this! …
PORN RUINS EVERYTHING!
IF ANYONE HAS ANY INFO ON HOW TO CAMPAIGN FOR EQUALITY FOR WOMEN AND GET “LADS MAGS ” BACK ON TOP SHELF WHERE THEY BELONG AND PAGE 3 BACK ON THE ACTUAL PAGE NUMBER 3 PLEASE REPLY!
saturnine
January 21, 2010
Dear “Girls Against Porn”. First let me say I am so proud that you have begun this website. Hats off to you! Now, here’s the deal. I am a 49 year young mom of two boys (21 and 24), married to the same man (a prominent professional) for 25+ years. I was a model in my younger years. Only saying this to prove a point that it is NOT about what you look like or how attractive you are. It’s also not about how well you can fake acting out fantasies you lower yourself to partake in in order to please a man who is shackled by this terrible disease. My husband has been into porn since he was a young boy. This was his first “girlfriend” as it is with so many. He is 52 years old. It has all but ruined our life at times. Our grown boys know the toll it has taken as well. They are ashamed of their father and angered by his lack of control and discipline. He is very disciplined in every other aspect of his life. Interesting, isn’t it? A few things to always remember: First, it is not something he does to hurt you. It is a disease. It has nothing to do with how wonderful you are, or how beautiful you are or how large your breasts are ( or not) or how sexy you are. When “sexual anorexia” comes to your doorstep (disinterested in intimate sex and rather prefers porn, masturbation and fantasy) it is unquestionably the beginning of the end without help. You may find yourself questioning if you’re “good” enough; in bed, at life, as a wife, as a girlfriend, etc. It has nothing to do with this. Learn this first and foremost. Secondly, get help. If your husband or boyfriend is immersed in porn his body has produced such strong chemicals when he looks at porn and masturbates that his body becomes addicted to the release of these chemicals exactly like what happens with crack or cocaine or meth. If he is smart and wants to save his relationship with you, he must enter either a 12 step program or go into heavy counseling. You must also for the anger and hurt you feel which is REAL. Thirdly, you must begin to understand your part in being a co-dependent and learn how NOT to be one. You must learn to make him responsible for his own choices. He calls the counselor; he seeks help. You don’t do this for him. If he chooses not to do these things, that is your answer, loud and clear no matter how much it may hurt. And you must set boundaries and consequences which you must carry out. This is a serious problem in our world and it is huge now in our younger generation. Lastly, be strong and do not compromise your integrity or your character. Ever. Say no. I again commend you girls for having this site. I will visit it often. I struggle daily with my husband’s addiction and the anger it has caused. Due to many tries at programs, counseling and groups and the long road which I have learned upon, I have stayed so far. How I wished I had known some of these things 28 years ago. My life would have been very different. We are on the verge of 25 years of marriage gone because of this. Don’t let your whole life go by like I did before I understood this. If any of you are wanting to talk one on one, I am willing to listen and guide. Just let me know here and I’ll start an email. I have many wisdoms to share and I am sure I will also learn from you. God bless all of you who are struggling with this. It is a very sad and disabling situation for everyone.
Take care.
M
January 20, 2010
My boyfriend confessed to me about a year and 2 months ago that he watched porn. I wasn’t sure how to handle it, but God spoke to me and told me not to give up on him, that it was all going to work out. We have had our arguments about it. About 2 months ago, I almost gave up. I wrote him a letter telling him how much it hurt me. He didn’t want to listen at first, and he tried leaving my dorm room, but I stood in front of it and said, “We are NOT leaving until we figure this out.” Porn was destroying our relationship. I was tired of being cheated on. When he saw that he couldn’t run away from his problem or me, he broke down crying. He said that he wasn’t going to hurt me anymore. A couple of days ago, he started an online program to help him with his addiction. He put a blocker on his computer, and everyday he does a devotional online that uses scripture to help him with his addiction. His attitude has really turned around…he’s a lot happier, and so am I. I just wanted to give that testimony. Porn is a hard thing to deal with…I couldn’t have dealt with him on my own. The only reason we got through it was because God was #1 in our relationship, and HE helped my boyfriend. I’m so thankful that he is getting help.
January 12, 2010
At this point in my life I’m really disgusted that our government back years ago thought it was ok to start selling porn. I don’t think they realized the affect it would cause on us, our families and men. I too will be soon moving out and seeking a divorce because I’m sick of tired of dealing with this crap. I’ve been doing this for 8 years on and off. I’m done. I have 4 little girls under 8. Now I’m fed up. Is there anyway we can let the government know what this is doing to men, women, and our families?
msdarcy
January 4, 2010
I am an 18 year old girl and porn disgusts me completely. Lately i have been finding it on the family computer which my 16 year old brother uses, i delete it, but more keeps appearing. I don’t know how to go about it because I’ve told him how wrong it is before but it hasn’t stopped. It makes me sick to think its infected his mind, when I’ve always thought of him as my sweet younger brother. People say its a normal phase that people go through, but i cant understand how something so vile can be called normal. I once went round to a friends house where they decided to put porn on for “fun” in front of us all. I sat there not being able to look at the screen, and when i did i just wanted to be sick, yet i was embarrassed because no once else seemed to react this way. It was so degrading. I left very soon after. I just cant get my head around why it is considered acceptable in society when it causes such damage to people.
December 28, 2009
As strange as this may be, I’m a guy…why am at this site? Because it is so good to see resistance to the horrid porn industry. I am a victim of the porn industry. Why do I say ‘victim’? Because when I was in the 5th grade I was exposed to porn at school–a public school. I wasn’t seeking it out, I just happened to walk by a computer in the classroom and some other boys were looking at it. It messed me up big time. At that time my innocence was taken from me. The result was/is a 12 year battle that haunts me. I am so, so thankful to say that the Grace of God, by Christ’s Blood from the Cross covers me and that I AM pure in God’s eyes! But, the enemy is there trying to bring me down and make me feel worthless. It’s affected my friendships, family relationships, and spiritual relationships.
Porn and the sex-culture of this world is terrible. It is painful. It is deadly. It is EVIL. Yet it is a billion dollar industry destroying lives. Keep up the great work ladies. It can’t be a “whispered” topic among churches and organizations. It needs to be addressed head on.
Remember the 1860s and the movement for the abolition of slavery? How awesome it would be to organize a movement of equal magnitude for the abolition of the sex industry!!!
Girls Against Porn, Men Against Porn, Governments Against Porn…
Prayer is a great start.
December 11, 2009
I am an upper middle aged lady who he is disgusted with finding porn to be an important factor in a 56 year old man’s life that I had been dating. It offends me immensely and I have been so upset with him for not parting with his bought collection. I will not watch one with him. I don’t know how he can live with himself for not understanding how porn 90% of the time are created under horrid conditions. This man is also well employed and the father of two grown daughters.
December 3, 2009
Porn is wrong and girls are treated poorly.
November 23, 2009
Please join us in the boycott of the NFL on Thanksgiving Day! Many of us as women are tiring of seeing our gender being used, both in pornography but also soft porn. Granted, NFL cheerleaders are not the worst of porn by any means, but they are a common and unfortunately accepted aspect of our culture. They are a form of soft porn and their so-called “dancing” amounts to a fringe strip-tease act. It insults women and women as athletes. It also insults men’s intelligence because it assumes men don’t have the attention span to watch a sport and take it seriously. Most everyone agrees porn is bad, but we have come to accept general objectification of women as commonplace. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to see my gender insulted on a day that I want to give thanks and enjoy turkey and all my efforts in preparing Thanksgiving! So please join in the boycott! The NFL wants women as fans, so we need to send a message that we will not put money in their pockets while they are degrading women! Our voice can be expressed through ratings!
November 16, 2009
Just wanted to say again how amazing you and your ministry are! I pray for you and your ministry daily and thank you for taking such a bold stand on such a devastating problem in our society….
– Your biggest fan
November 15, 2009
I feel like it’s a show of disrespect. If you’re in a relationship and your partner does not agree with porn then why would you continue to view it? It makes me feel like he doesn’t care about how I feel. If he knew the hurt it causes inside me then maybe he would stop but I can’t seem to get that through to him. I also feel it is in the same category as infidelity. I know it isn’t a physical encounter but it is an encounter none the less and not with me. Not to mention his loser friends are not helping with all of the e-mails they send! It can’t be that their wives and girlfriends are OK with it. They probably have no idea. If a man feels the need to hide his porn then obviously he knows he shouldn’t have it, why go through the trouble at all? I feel like screaming, ìIf you see XXX in your inbox and it came from the guy who usually sends you garbage then hit delete, don’t move it to a secret file you think I don’t know exists!!î I don’t know what else to do anymore. The sad part is I would be so happy if I didn’t happen, if I knew he wasn’t looking at other women I would feel so much better about myself as his fiance. Wish I knew how to fix this.
Empty Inside
November 7, 2009
YOU ARE SUCH A REMARKABLE LADY!! WHAT BRAVERY AND COURAGE TO TAKE ON SUCH A HORRIBLE YET WORTHY CAUSE! YOU AND YOUR MINISTRY ARE IN MY PRAYERS!
SINCERELY,
BIGGEST FAN
October 27, 2009
I hate porn. It almost ruined my marriage and it most certainly ruined my self-esteem and my trust in my husband. I’ve become obsessed with how small my breasts are and have tried loads of natural breast enhancement methods. Herbs, massage, exercise, you name it. I’m still trying to build up my self-esteem and he’s trying to build up my trust.
Well, I figured he was bored with me or something, so I started up as a sex toy reviewer. I figured this way I could spice up our sex life, help consumers find products that aren’t toxic (phthalates, parabens, things like that), and to help others find safe toys that don’t have porn on the packaging. I had wished someone like me was around the first time my husband suggested a toy. So, I stopped wishing and took on the job myself. I thought I was alone in the fight until I found a Christian Nympho site. Their site is dedicated to women who love and lust after their husbands and provide information and stores without all the smut. I was so happy to find it, I cried.
For quite a while now, my husband has been saying if I hate all of this so much, I should do something. Start a movement or a group. I kind of thought my blog wasn’t much help, but I figured it was at least something. I get headlines from CarnalNation emailed to me, just to see what’s going on. There was an article making fun of WRAP. I got ticked and wanted to find out more about WRAP and then found GAP. I’m so happy all of these organizations against porn exist, and I’ll try to help as best I can. Really, I wish I could hug every one of you and tell you all how much your efforts mean to me. There’s no way to express that in words, though.
Sometimes I wonder if posting Christian things on my blog and then posting reviews or articles on things may be contradictory at times. I don’t claim to be the perfect Christian. We all have our little quirks, but that’s why God loves us. It’s why we need to be loved, because we’re messed up.
So, if what I put on my blog seems weird or contradictory, so be it. It’s me. I’m sharing everything, including my faults.
Anyway, thank you to GAP and everyone else in the fight. God bless, and fight the good fight!
true.pleasures
October 26, 2009
I THINK ITS DISGUSTING!!! Porn shouldn’t be legal! i think its degrading and insulting to women. men use the excuse of “every man does it. its NORMAL” which ends up making the girlfriends/wives believe it, and they stop thinking its a bad thing. if men really loved the females they have in their life, like mum, sister, wives, girlfriend etc then they wouldn’t watch it to get pleasure out of another woman’s body.
October 22, 2009
I want to thank God for helping me save my marriage. My husband has been struggling with his addiction to porn for many years and we are actively working together to rebuild our relationship. He now realizes how bad the porn industry really is and feels terrible about how the women in the porn industry are treated. After reading stories on the Pink Cross foundation website from former porn stars he broke down in tears. Now he actually wants to do something and has become a member on the Pink Cross website! I am so proud of him for wanting to get better and actually taking the steps to overcome his addiction and be honest with me. I am so happy that I married a man with such and beautiful heart and soul. Even if he continues to struggle with his addiction and he falls down every now and then I know that God will be there to help him get back up and i will be there to support him through this difficult time. I know this won’t be easy but I am grateful he wants to take the steps to overcome his addiction. For all of the women out there who have someone close to you with sexual addiction I will pray for you. It’s extremely hard when all you feel is the pain. I know but there is always hope for you. Even if the relationship doesn’t work out. You will walk away a stronger person. And for anyone struggling with a sexual addiction, especially in a relationship, the one thing that will help you get through this easier is to be completely honest with yourself and with your partner. Also to those in the relationship with the addict, your emotions will be high at first but what I learned is that I had to calm down and listen and learn what I really wanted out of this. My husband and i now talk, we don’t yell and fight about it. I asked him kindly for his total and complete honesty and with kindness he learned to trust that I wasn’t going to blow up on him and I learned that with kindness he’s more likely to admit the truth the first time. I am really hoping that he continues on this path. He is extremely loving and kind and I have faith that he will stick to this. I guess i just have to take everything one day at a time and not worry about it. I wish the best for everyone.
October 19, 2009
Thank you for this site. My husband’s porn addiction has destroyed my marriage and my life. When I found out he watched porn I tried talking to him about it and explaining to him how it made me feel and how it disregarded the level of intimacy that I wanted in our marriage. I was always willing to be spontaneous in the bedroom, and always was. I kept in great shape and always tried to look nice for him. What he was doing was hurting me mentally and emotionally. He told me that it had nothing to do with me, that he had done it for so long that he couldn’t stop, and that there was nothing wrong with what he was doing and that I had to just accept it. I recognized that he may have a problem so I suggested counseling, provided him with literature on porn addiction, gave him “more” in the bedroom, and all the love I had in my heart. Despite my efforts nothing worked and he said there was no such thing as an addiction to porn and that he did not need help. He would get so mad at me when I would just try to talk to him about it. I knew that I could not live the rest of my life like this, and feeling this way. I found myself trying to justify what he was doing just so it wouldn’t cause me anymore pain. Finally, he said he would “try” to stop. I believed him and I felt like he actually, for the first time, recognized that he had a problem. I felt like he wanted the level of respect and intimacy that I wanted in our marriage and I felt like he was finally going to put our marriage before the sick and degrading things he was watching. He may have tried, he may have battled within himself to stop, but he did not stop. He shut down and would not communicate to me about it, he just watched more, a lot more (29 videos a day), lied to me, became cold towards me, and did not want to have sex. I am now getting a divorce. I have so much pain and anger in my heart due to what porn has done to him and to our marriage. I hope that one day this will not be a problem in our society and cause people so much pain and loss in their lives.
September 22, 2009
Hi Ladies, just want to share how porn has completely changed my relationship with my bf. I don’t trust him at all i’m even jealous of his guy friends especially his best friend i even think that he might even like guys because all of the nasty and dirty stuff that porn shows that u don’t even know what he’s into…I know i’m going way to far but thats how bad the trust issues can get. My bf its been complaining about me fighting with him very often, and its been since i found him watching porn. I don’t know what to do everyday i been haven second thoughts about him i really don’t think that real love can get thru so much pain …
SoMuchHurtInMyHeart
September 21, 2009
We always hear that porn is degrading to women. That is true, but it is degrading to the men that use it too. They degrade themselves by purchasing it, and enslave themselves to porn. What they might not think about is that there are men who make their money off of the assumption that men are weak and will always succumb to the power that the female body has over the male. So men trying to get rich and can’t be smart or creative, open up strip clubs as a “sure thing.” It would be great to the see sex businesses decline to the laws, but what would be so wonderful if that strip clubs and other establishments that “sell” the female body would go out of business because men as a group get stronger and smarter and overcome their addiction to sex and women.
September 13, 2009
I used to be a nice guy, I’m sure I was. I used to just use it to relieve myself, it wasn’t a problem. But it’s so addictive, it corrupts you. I always wanted more, then I needed more. I actually physically feel an addiction to it, I feel stressed out or bored if I’m not watching it, I need it all day. I carry porn mags, have porn on my cellphone, look at it at work, anywhere. I used to think porn celebrated women’s beauty, maybe that was the original idea, but I see now it breeds disrespect and even hatred of women in me, most porn these days is a lot harder and nastier, it celebrates degrading, violent acts against women. and an addict always wants a stronger hit. I have seen some disgusting, shocking things on the internet searching for harder and nastier porn, there really is some evil stuff out there. Porn has destroyed my relationships with women, most notably with my ex-girlfriend Claudia. At first I was romantic, and she was a loving girlfriend, but my brain had long been infected by porn, which I continued to use throughout our relationship, I no longer wanted to make love, I wanted ‘porno sex’, I upset my girlfriend several times by making constant demands on her for perverted sex acts and to wear more make-up and sluttier clothes, which she hated.I soon started cheating on her with several prostitutes, often unprotected. I then dumped her as she couldn’t meet my demands,and no longer turned me on. I even enjoyed upsetting her again y telling her everything I did with those hookers after we split up (I later apologized to her more recently,but she still called me ‘disgusting’). That’s what porn teaches men like me, to use girls, its about what you can do to them, what you can make them do. I agree with the statements on here linking porn and sex crimes. I think it has strengthened and nurtured fantasies in my head of raping girls in the past,because it has removed the emotional connection I used to feel with girls,it reinforces the domination,abuse and degradation of girls. I can no longer talk with girls without superimposing mental images of pouting porn stars doing nasty stuff onto them,imaging them being degraded. I don’t even talk to girls I find attractive now, I just leer at them and make lewd comments about them and their girlfriends. What happened to me? I used to chat with girls, enjoy their company, rate their personality and sense of humor, now all I rate are their body parts and how slutty they are. Most girls don’t measure up. I am addicted to prostitutes, as they have the slutty clothes,slutty make-up, fake boobs, and do all the things porno girls do. Using hookers used to be just an occasional thing when I was lonely, but now it’s an obsession ,and its all I think about. And I know many of these girls are trafficked, I know many don’t enjoy it, I can often read the pain and discomfort on their face throughout, but just like porn, I carry on, even paying the girls extra and coercing them into doing things they don’t advertise or didn’t agree to, even coercing girls into prostituting themselves by offering them cash for sex. I see now I am not just the corrupted,I am the corruptor.
juniorgman
September 8, 2009
I lost my husband, marriage and my dreams of our life together to his addiction to porn. The hurt that those left behind feels is indescribable.
Please go to http://www.bethesdaworkshops.org/ to find hope and healing.
This program is wonderful and is for both the addict and the co-addict. The addict can find the help he/she needs to overcome the addiction and the co-addict can deal with the pain and learn how to be in a healthy relationship themselves. Thank you for a great site and standing up against this evil beast that is destroying so many families.
CJ
September 8, 2009
I realize after years of watching porn,it has corrupted my thoughts and given lust a foothold in my brain,it has caused me to act out in many disgusting ways towards women and my habits have harmed my personal and professional image,my family life,my relationships,my bank account,my job,etc.
I am now unable to connect with women and prefer the company of prostitutes and strippers,sexually harass and offend many women,including all of my female co-workers,friends and cousins,cheat on girlfriends with hookers,etc.
I am basically now seen as a pervert and sex pest.
Do not allow your sons to get sucked in by porn,they could end up like me.
I am in my mid 30’s now,I see guys my age going out shopping with their girlfriends,spending time with the wife/kids,buying a house,etc,and I compare it to my life-I spend my days in seedy strip clubs and sex shops,and my nights scraping together what money I haven’t spent in those places,standing in cold,dark phone boxes that reek of urine,scrambling business cards of prostitutes together,phoning them and desperately negotiating prices,then visit grubby brothels and seedy hotels to use cheap hookers,then staying up all night watching porn.
Just the other day I thought ‘It’s almost 2am,many guys I know are asleep in bed with their wives or girlfriends,and I’m standing in a cold,dingy corridor in Soho arguing with some cheap blonde coked-up hooker for my money back as she didn’t ‘finish me off’
August 13, 2009
xmarshmellow40x,
If your boyfriend is viewing porn, and the fact that he denies it(lies) and then goes and watches it, would beg the question: can you trust him? If someone loves you, they don’t lie to you first of all.
Secondly, it sounds like your boyfriend has a porn addiction. With any addiction, when the person has to lie to hide what they are doing, it means they are hooked, and probably not giving it up without professional help, and acknowledgement of the problem. Your boyfriend needs to get counseling.
If you are unsure how to approach the topic with him, not the most pleasant thing to do, we know, remember what we call in psychology and counseling: I & You messages. So that it doesn’t sound to him like you are on the attack, and its also important that he knows exactly how his actions make you feel, present it this way, with an I message: “I feel “this way” when you look at pornography, but tell me that you aren’t.” When you relay how this makes you feel, it forces your b/f to address the fact that he is hurting you by his actions, and to acknowledge this, and the ball is in his court to do something about changing those actions, if he really cares about you and the relationship. If he does, he will agree to get counseling from specifically a porn addiction counselor-not a general practitioner counselor, but someone who specializes in sexual addictions. My friend, this is the only way your b/f’s behavior will start to change, without accountability and counseling-it will go on like this for you continuing to be in that relationship. Porn isn’t just looking it pictures, it involves chemical components, that are very strong, hence why so many men have addictions to this stuff, and women now too-its incredible tragic. I’m so sorry you have to experience this; it is cheating. But know you can take the stand, and find out how much he really does care about the relationship if he agrees to get counseling and professional help-he must realize that he does have a problem first, the first stage is realizing that they do have a problem.
You can also find a support group with other women, so that you can get your feelings expressed and dealt with and get support from others who are dealing with the same thing in their relationships, to find one near you, you can
visit: http://www.sanon.org/. You can search for a local support group in your area of ladies who are going through the same thing. If you think it will get better if you just get married, that is not the case either, porn addictions that aren’t dealt with professionally will return; many ladies sometimes think this, that if they get married to that person with the addiction, their boyfriend will stop then, but after they are married, they find out that he still has the addiction, it returns. Its important to have a support network for what you are going through! We hope this helps! We are sorry you have experienced this in your relationship xmarshmellow40x:(.
Bree,
Well, your husband is correct about ONE thing: that his addiction has nothing to do with you. The thing about porn addictions Bree, is that they are chemical, and they are just that: an addiction. So the “user”
will push family,loved ones, girlfriends, wives away, as a means to be able to spend time viewing the stuff, but many feel guilty too in viewing this, so they have a tendency to treat those around them unkindly, and start to push those close to them away because of the personal guilt they feel-classic sign of a porn addict, many will start to push family/friends away-they generally feel uncomfortable in their own skin, because they know what they are doing is wrong. Again, you need to let your husband know how you feel with an I/You statement. “I feel “this way” when you do “this.” It lets your husband know, how his actions are effecting you, rather than “You are looking at porn again!”-statements such as this starting with a You-avoid that.
Bree-your husband is going to need to get counseling. I’m so sorry that you are being put through this:-(, especially with your two little ones, you DO NOT deserve that. If your husband is hiding in the bathroom, and he has to hide to do this, he obviously knows he shouldn’t be doing it, and its obviously become an addiction, because he has to “hide in the bathroom” to do it he has to get “his fill;” there are other things probably going on also. It won’t stop until he gets professional help Bree. Because of the chemical nature of porn. He could have also been sexually abused as a child, he could have childhood issues with his mother, etc. you may or may not know, but there are numerous other things that could be going on with him, that he needs to get worked out with a professionally trained sexual addiction counselor. A porn addiction is just a symptom of greater issues actually, there is always something at the root of the problem, the porn addiction is just a symptom of those exact root problems. You need to get yourself into a support group of other women too, look for a local one in your area here at this link: http://www.sanon.org/.
We are sorry Bree, but tell him how you feel, and insist that he gets professional help. Addicts don’t stop cold turkey with porn addictions, its very rare, and will get progressively worse. You get surrounded by people who will support you, and ladies who are going through the same okay?
Tiffany
July 28, 2009
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for two years and i really don’t like the fact that he watches porn. He promised me and promised me he was done doing it. But still i always find it on his computer and then he denies it.
It makes me feel so unattractive and unsexy. I really don’t know what to do.
Please help xmarshmellow40x@aim.com
July 23, 2009
hi i am 20 been married for two years and have two kids. shortly after my first son was born i found my husband looking at porn…with me in the house. he would frequently take his computer to the bathroom with him. he also began to choose it over me. i show him plenty of affection but he pushes me away. he told me it wouldn’t happen again but the November before i had our second son i found him looking at it again. he says he loves and finds me attractive and that it has nothing to do with me but i don’t understand why he chooses it over me if he thinks im attractive i don’t know what to do anymore. do u have any advice?
brittany_hutchison_2007@hotmail.com
bree
July 9, 2009
I am a victim to the lies,deceit,and hurt that is porn.I am a recovering anorexic and I’m afraid that my husband is going to cause my death.It hurts that the one I love so much would be so selfish as to literally cause my death and say “It’s just porn.” No it’s not just porn and you really don’t understand.
July 6, 2009
its just sad and makes girls and boys feel like nothing. it creates an impression in boys heads about the perfect girl and it really lowers my self esteem. i’m just a real girl. I WANT THIS TO STOP.
July 5, 2009
Hello beautiful girls! I don’t know if this is the best way to go about stopping porn usage, but I edited the hosts file on my computers to redirect various porn sites to a different IP address so now every time my husband tries to go to one of the sites, it routes him to a sexual recovery website. The bad part is that I have to redirect for every site one by one and there are SOOOO many of them. I went this route b/c when I confronted him, he told me I was crazy. If you are interested in learning how, do a google search on editing the hosts file…it’s very easy!
July 4, 2009
I just broke up with my soon to be husband because of his porn addiction. Please remember girls an addict is an addict and its not your fault!!!!
Katrina
June 30, 2009
Porn, being the epidemic that it is, leaving so many victims suffering, shocks me at how little is online that offers information, help, encouragement, facts, etc.
I seriously am impressed with your site. It is simple and yet so informative. and encouraging.
I, as a woman, suffer the negative emotions of having a husband, addicted. I feel the betrayal, disgust, anger, resentment, distrust, worry, low self esteem…….I have to tell you though that the “Addiction” poem touched me deeply and I say thank you for posting that. It helped me to put my own sadness for myself aside and see my husband’s. I saw him as a victim as well. It brought tears to my eyes. I got up immediately and called him at work just to tell him I love him. I will tell you that a husband’s addiction pains a woman to the core of her being but if she loves that man, she has to remember that it was pain that made him resort to porn in the first place. It’s not right, it’s not okay, it’s just the truth. Reach inside to his heart the way you want him to reach yours. This and God is your only hope for recovery.
Thank you, again,
A wife
June 22, 2009
I have a friend who recently decided he wants to be in porn. I just don’t know what to say to him anymore. That just can’t be right…
Damita
June 21, 2009
I broke up with my boyfriend because of his porn use. He would hide it from me and lie when I confronted him. I have too much respect for myself to stay with someone like that. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship and if you don’t have that, then it’s not much of a relationship.
June 19, 2009
Hi folks. You might be interested to know about another website, www.stoppornculture.org, that has lots of information and resources on pornography from a humane, progressive, and feminist perspective.
July 19, 2009
Lovely, lovely Ladies! It’s hard to hear that many of you are losing weight, have anorexia, and that your husband or boyfriend’s porn addiction is taking such a toll on you. You all dote so unselfishly on your husbands/boyfriends, you give them so much of you, your energy, your unconditional love, and to find out that they are cheating with porn in return is heartbreaking I knowÖ.Please, if that is what you are going through, don’t let their addiction take a toll on your health, your body, your weight; keep up your stamina, your energy don’t go into that very dark place by letting it eat at your health, no matter what you have to do to stay healthy, do it, because I know the stress effects not only your thoughts and your mind, but your health and your body. They CHOOSE to have an addiction, and destroy their lives and relationships, but don’t let them destroy you either and take you down with them, and steal your self-esteem; your value is so GREAT, your value does not come from your husband/boyfriend-remember that-they didn’t invent it, and they can’t take it away! If your health is being affected negatively by discovering that your husband/boyfriend has an addiction, perhaps you are even depressed, not eating, losing weight, please try to drink protein shakes, take vitamins, supplements, and continue eating healthy. Don’t forget to eat, even if you don’t have an appetite. This is what I had to learn to do, after getting down to less than a 100 pounds, and staying that way for most of 7 years ladies, I know what it’s like; after finding out my boyfriend had a porn addiction, your health takes a huge beating, you lose your appetite, and eventually loose so much weight, in an unhealthy way. I would have eventually just diminished away, but after 5 years of this because of the grief, and sadness that comes with this epidemic, I finally started drinking protein shakes to gain weight again. You can use Greek yogurt which is very high in protein and which you can purchase at a Trader Joe’s, protein flavored powders from the health food stores, liquid vitamins, frozen yogurt, soy milk, and if you don’t have an appetite, or are losing weight quickly, be sure to make one of these once a day for yourself. If you don’t get enough protein, with high a mounts of stress, you can start to lose your hair too, so be sure to keep yourself built up, and take a multi-vitamin too! One very important thing I learned too, for those of you great ladies, who have lost a husband or boyfriend to a porn addiction is this gem of knowledge: when you lose something big…start something big! If you lose a relationship because of your husband/boyfriend’s porn addiction, start something; perhaps a non-profit, start writing a book, start volunteering, something that will get your mind out of your situation, and into helping others. Helping others when you are hurting ladies is the best medicine I could ever suggest. Because I knew there were many of you, who were going through what I went through, I started Girls Against Porn; when I lost something big (my relationship), I started something big so that women could find resources to get help with their relationships, and so that you could share your feelings. This is a key piece of knowledge for moving on, and finding your value and yourself again, because you’ve gone through such a huge setback, know that you can succeed, you are capable, you all are talented, special, and you can do anything you put your mind to; and start to get your mind off of what you lost, and start something new ladies!
I highly recommend this book ladies-please purchase it when you can!
It is quite telling about the actions of men. Its by Steve Harvey and the book is called: Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, & Commitment. Steve Harvey wrote this book, because he wanted women to know what was really going on inside the minds of men (since he is one and he has daughters now), and he wanted to de-code the actions of men for women, so that you could make smarter decisions about your relationships. Please get this book! In Chapter 2 entitled, Our Love Isn’t Like Your Love, Steve writes about how women love hard and deeply, differently from how men love. He states, Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love-it is kind and compassionate, patient, & nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. That is a woman’s love-it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstances. Steve also goes on to say, about a man’s love, “I’m here to tell you that expecting that kind of love-that perfection-from a man is unrealistic. That is right, I said it-it is not gonna happen, no way, no how. Because a man’s love isn’t like a woman’s love. Steve proceeds to mention that if a man does love you, you will know by his actions; he will do each of the following: profess to others about your relationship, he’ll provide for you, and he will protect you. Sounds familiar doesn’t it ladies? Like how you love your husband/boyfriend so unselfishly? You all give and give and give, constantly loving, no matter how you get treated in return, no matter what he does, no matter the lapses with sobriety with his addiction, you support them through their addictions and ups and downs, and Steve Harvey acknowledges this in his book, but YOU also need respect-don’t forget that! If you want to be respected by a man, you have to demand respect; don’t be someone they can take advantage of, and treat anyway they please. You may ask yourself, why is it that it is so one-sided, and that when a man has an addiction, he expects more and more, but gives less and less in return, and is less and less concerned about you. Have you noticed that? If your husband or boyfriend refuses to get counseling for his addiction, he needs an ultimatum ladies, or if it’s a boyfriend, and he refuses to get counseling/professional help, get rid of him ladies, and find someone who deserves you! Not someone who causes you to go into depression, to lose weight, and all the other things that happen to us. I know it’s hard to do that, but you deserve someone who respects you, who will give you unconditional love, who will profess you to others, protect you, provide for you as Steve mentions; someone who loves you for who you are and who does not two-time you with an addiction or another relationship or cheating. If they refuse to get counseling, or find excuses to keep putting it off, their addiction will return porn addictions are not given up cold turkey (this is very rare)-it doesn’t work that way, because of the chemical aspects. I continually see the way many of these men treat you, as they shift the blame on to you (very common in a porn addict), so they can deflect their own guilt, and don’t you accept that! Find someone who will treat you like a queen ladies, they are hard to find and you may have to look for awhile, but you don’t deserve to have to dote specifically on a boyfriend who doesn’t appreciate you, who doesn’t take care of you. Remember who you are, that you are special, capable, and you have a lot to give to someone, but to someone who will give back to you equally, not drain you, and take so much away from you, and kill your spirit, that isn’t love ladies. I hope that this helps you. Perhaps some of you needed to hear this, because I know some of the time we settle and the way that we get treated as women by some men never ceases to amaze me, when hearing and knowing how you love unconditionally, but you only get pain back in return. Don’t settle for anything less than the best ladies! You deserve that okay? I want you to promise me that one;-). You are always in my thoughts precious ladies, and my prayers; we are here for you.
Tiffany
June 8, 2009
Well I really hate porn. I just found my husband of 2 years looking at porn. He knows I hate it. I am in the military, I have a laptop from them, I am not allowed to use the laptop to look at porn and my husband knows that. Well he looked at it anyways, now he does not know why I am mad at him. I can get into a lot of trouble for this. To put the icing on the cake I found that every time we had intimate relations he was looking at porn. Because the laptop is from the military you can’t erase the history, so I can go back and see it. I never looked at it before because I didn’t have a reason. Now I feel nasty, does he need to look at some nasty ***** to have sex with me? Why would anyone want to see a ***** that has been ****** by millions of people? I hate all porn it’s all nasty and should not be made so easy to get to. All you have to do is go on the internet and look it up. It asks you are you 18 years old well yea you’re going to hit yes. I just need to find people that feel the same. Everyone I talk to says that they know their husbands look at porn but what can they do, they really don’t care.
ruby2sday000
May 17, 2009
Well i have been going through all the blogs. I am not a porn addict but from time to time have watched porn..its all over the internet difficult to not come across its somethings that poisons you …and gives you horrible guilty feelings and you know it is wrong…everywhere you go you see scantly clad woman on magazines ,just walking into any store…it sends the wrong message to children and families it seems that its becoming less important to raise your children in this society,and protect them from this garbage.. they are growing up so confused and feel its normal part of life ….let children be children its disturbing…
wonderlandstar79
April 27, 2009
I am taking a Feminist movement class where the porn issue has been addressed. We talked about how it is degrading to women, and perpetuates the violence against women…Even though I’m in college I have never actually seen any porn so I was curious to see what the hype was about and how it actually depicted women. I was so surprised that by simply googling “porn” how MUCh of it comes up!! It was really shocking for me…I could not believe what these women are doing to themselves. In the few that I saw the mens faces are never shown! The women are these sexual zoo creatures on display and under the control of men. it isn’t about their pleasure or their actual enjoyment….and I don’t know how anyone can actually buy into those fake moans and screams! they are SO fake and if anything they sound like she is being hurt not sexually enjoying herself….Well anyways I found myself in this odd situation feeling nothing but shock and anger and I was happy to find this site and have some place to rant over the disgustingness of porn..thanks for your efforts to clean things up and protect women and kids!
April 17, 2009
Every man I have been involved with has turned out to be a pornography addict, mostly men’s magazines and now it’s little teen girls on the soft corn internet sites. These men have all mistreated me, were sadistic and made me feel like a loser. People would always tell me I was too pretty and sweet for these men, who turned out to be addicted to soft-core porn. This has succeeded in destroying much of my respect for men and has given me a lower quality of life throughout my whole life. In addition, the good men suffer because bad ones have made some women afraid of all men
April 4, 2009
Get in Love, Get Married, and stop watching porn, that is the answer in how to stop watching porn, and by the way when people stop watching porn, they will start to get in love, than to think about only sex, and the porn industry well loose, since is no one watching porn, believe me that is the only way to solve the problem
January 8, 2009
The blog-The Sun Always Returns after the Rain and website
http://tornapartbyporn.com has helped me with what I’m dealing with in my own marriage. My husband and his porn habit has broken my heart so many times. I hate the way I feel when I know he has been looking at it. I’ve thought about leaving, but we have kids.
I couldn’t put down Diony’s book, Torn Apart (you can order it off the site) I read it all night the day I got it and finished about three in the morning. It made me cry, I could see myself and my husband. On the other hand it gave me encouragement. Now I have hope that I don’t have to stay unhappy-it’s my choice. God Bless!
December 25, 2008
Thank you so much for your website. Not only am i against pornography, I am also against rape. I feel that pornography demeans sex and also reduces women to be seen as merely sex toys, which leads to rape. I truly hope that pornography can be banned once and for all. Pornography is disgusting and I cannot understand why any man would watch it continuously. Pornography is an ever-increasing problem in America and all over the world. I hope that this website will continue to endure and see justice done to those scumbags who watch porn and rape.
December 22, 2008
They must bring what they did In Australia all over the world. Basically, you have to opt out if you don’t want the filter on (this filter is placed on by the internet service provider), that way when a family gets an internet connection, it will be a lot harder to opt out because the guy (I’m a guy by the way) will be too embarrassed and also will avoid temptation.
I’m like a binge drinker, I’m off the stuff for ages, but then look at the filth and feel so ashamed after, and when I do it, I do it properly until I can get myself under control again through much fighting against myself.
FIGHT TILL THE DEATH, THIS STUFF IS EVIL WHETHER YOU’RE RELIGIOUS OR NOT.
Also if you an American, its your duty to fight this as most of the filth comes from there or is watched there, I’m not American bashing, but you must admit most of the world is effected by this rubbish. I HATE PORN, I feel like a drug addict
December 9, 2008
I am so very happy that I came across this site. My husband viewed porn when we met but said he would stop for me. I believed him. Recently I found a receipt for a strip club. I found out he was going a few times a month. My heart broke. He admitted that it started with porn and progressed. I believe that it is a downward spiral. It becomes an addiction. We are still together but it hurts me so. He said that he wants to change and is seeing a counselor. We really need to ban together as women and show society that porn is not okay. It destroys.
December 6, 2008
Thank you for this site and your cause. I had an ex-husband who was very much addicted to porn and it ruined our marriage. He started treating me badly and then would say that I was “just jealous.” Pornography warps & destroys the mind. I blame men for deceiving women into thinking that that’s all they’re worth. But, I also blame women for participating in such acts. I truly believe that if more and more women would start respecting themselves and their bodies, this issue would cease greatly.
Thanks, again!
December 3, 2008
I was suspicious for many years of all the time that my wife spent on the internet. I never called her out on it since I assumed it was ‘her business’ and would probably end up being work related…how wrong I was. Once she accidentally left a page up and I saw what was really going on.
She had been distant for years, the sex had gone steadily downhill and was virtually non-existent by this point, and now I knew why. My (ex) wife was, I suppose is, into horse porn and it has destroyed both our lives, not to mention the incredible toll the divorce has had on our three children. Our relationship is so strained, whenever we have to meet at parent teacher conferences, etc, it is so awful. I cannot explain the pure agony it is to look this woman in the eyes. Porn ruins more than women’s and girls lives, it is the bane of us all.
December 3, 2008
I am a man, but I would like to let you know that I support you all the way. I at one time was addicted to pornography, so I have personally seen the evils it can bring. Keep up the good work.
Jon
December 2, 2008
I am struggling with my husbands porn addiction.We have only been married for a year and a half. I had suspicions of my husbands internet activity (he would always delete his history) so I installed a program onto his computer that monitors everything. Keystrokes, websites, searches and even takes pictures of the computer screen. The information can be accessed from any computer via the website and it is completely invisible. He will never know it is on his computer. Webwatcher by Awareness Technologies is where I found the software. It cost me about $107.00. I was prepared for what I was going to find, or so I thought. I was and still am shocked. It made me sick! I do not know if I can ever look at my husband the same. Pornography destroys marriages and lives.
November 16, 2008
I looked all over the web for a site against porn movies in the guise of R and PG 13-14 rated shows.
After trying to sit and watch a show, I left my Husband in the living room watching nude dancers , female , and said he was sorry about that ,but he wanted to finish the show to see what happened. What happened was even if I didn’t want to watch it I was either forced to be humiliated or get up from the comfort of my rest .
This is just another way for scum to view there lifestyle. I haven’t touched this person for like eight years , because of his lake of concern for me, and our so called marriage.
Then I said at my expense, you watch what you want, he says what is WRONG WITH YOU?
I don’t swear or cry when these type of people expose themselves so to speak, but I got up to do some dishes and then looked for someone to care elsewhere. Well I need to also state I am a minister and so is my so called husband, I take it pretty serious. well I need people to know that to feel embarrassed in there own home is a shame and a crime and it is adultery. Even to ignore is ignorance and unconcern of other people.
I know there are a few real home body type people men and women that do not see this as a normal part of there day, good work to pure of heart, keep up your good work.
Also does anyone know of a site that deals with soft porn and the sneaky type of people that bypass nude crap as just part of a show?
Barb
November 16, 2008
Hi, Im 21 year old and I want to thank you for your web site. I am standing against porn because many people are so victim of it. it is ruining lives and demeans sex. It is like a lost of our sense of humanity. I definitely want this industry out of the internet. Anyone can be a victim of this SH*T. I hate it so much because it affected me too. It is just crazy!! COME ON, HOW CAN IT BE RIGHT TO WATCH SOMEONE ELSE HAVING SEX? WE SHOULD HAVE A SENSE OF PRIVACY AND RESPECT! I don’t know about you but this is what I believe. Some things just have to remain private. That’s what makes us HUMAN and different from the rest of all the other beings. Best wishes to everyone. Take care
October 27, 2008
Hi, I’m a 24 year old woman. I started to be sexually active at 15. I have had quite a few relationships (4 serious). i have slept with over 10 men and the one who was the worse in bed was the who always watches porn!!!
I’ve watched porn myself to see what its was all about. I’ve never been so bored in all my life.
I really can’t believe that men would think we would find it a turn on, that they watch porn and then come and try it on us!!!!
I never had the heart to tell him that us women are not all the same. It killed our sex life and then our relationship.
NEVER AGAIN WILL I DATE A MAN WHO WATCHES PORN. WHAT A LOSER.
tracey
September 23, 2008
I have been with the same guy for 3 years. Our sex life started out great, but even then I walked in on him watching porn a few times and I did not think much of it. Now he literally will send me to the store or something with all the kids just to masterbate. When ever he has a spare moment he is watching porn. He used to work a security job in a little office by himself and he would bring his computer and watch porn! He says that every guy watches porn and it is normal. I don’t believe that, it hurts my feeling, we have two daughters, and I think he is a porn addict! I tell him I will leave him if he does not stop watching porn so he downloads a porn eraser for the computer so he can still watch porn but delete it when he is done! I am ready to break of our relationship! There are many other problems but this to me is one of the biggest!!!!!!!
kmcknight2
September 22, 2008
There was time, it doesn’t seem not that long ago, when the world was a different place. Porn was not part of life in America.
The word “Porn” was not even a word I grew up hearing or had to worry about.
I was a teenager in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s. I grew up in California…not in a little town but in the suburbs near a big city.
During those years I NEVER saw obscene or pornographic material: on the streets, in my friend’s homes, on billboards, in the convenience stores, on the news stands, or on Television.
It was considered obscene.
I remember when the Rolling Stones were going to be on TV on the Ed Sullivan Show and they were not allowed to sing the lyrics, “Let’s spend the night together”. They had to change it to “Let’s spend some time together”. That’s how protective the adults were of kids growing up in my generation.
There was Playboy magazine back then, of course. but I never saw it. It was sold in brown paper wrappers, to hide the cover, and sold in men’s smoke shops or behind the counter of liquor stores out the view of mothers and their children.
My father respected my mother and I and we never saw any type of obscene or adult material in our home. I grew up feeling safe and thinking that love was a beautiful thing and I had a good sense of self respect. I was a normal teenager and life was pretty good.
It seemed as though the adults cared about what kind of society we children and teenagers were growing up in… back then.
The United States changed around 1973. That’s when I first began to see the changes in this regard.
I don’t know what the answer is ….but your website gives me hope for the children, especially the girls, of tomorrow.
Thank you.
September 18, 2008
I broke off two relationships because of pornography. I disagree with it plainly and simple because I feel offended by it. Pornography leads to a behavioral situation that may lead anyone to live a life of lusting and abuse.
Deftones4
September 8, 2008
Pornography is all based on fetishes, fantasies,and sometimes very harsh violations against women. I strongly believe that this disgraceful crap being poured through the cyber world should be banned. It has destroyed my 13 year marriage and broke my family apart.
It created a monster within my husband ! He violated me as a woman, and disrespected my feelings and morals. some of the graphic material that is on the web is just horrifying. It’s no wander this world is as bad as it is with sexual predators and rape. I cannot believe that the law will not stand behind the fact that pornographic material is a mental and emotional drug to the people we cannot see. The one’s that harm women, and children. It is not just a way for men to relieve their anxieties from not having a partner in all cases. It truly creates monsters!
September 2008
Thank you for your support everyone! We love your passion Roby35, in wanting to ban porn. We are with ya! We will actually be posting all the federal law information on porn in the near future on the website, for everyone’s reference & use when you need to access or encounter a question. Did you actually know that most porn is illegal already?? Many aren’t aware that there are federal obscenity laws already on the books. The federal obscenity code was upheld in 1973, by the Supreme Court also in Miller vs. California, defining a 3 prong Miller test to decide what is considered obscene, therefore unlawful. If the material, fits the criteria in that 3 prong Miller test, and it is obscene using general community standards, it can be regulated. Plain & simple. Here’s a portion of the language from Title 18 (federal obscenity code):
Whoever knowingly transports or travels in, or uses a facility or means of, interstate or foreign commerce or an interactive computer service (as defined in section 230(e)(2) (FOOTNOTE 1) of the Communications Act of 1934) in or affecting such commerce for the purpose of sale or distribution of any obscene, lewd, lascivious, or filthy book, pamphlet, picture, film, paper, letter, writing, print, silhouette, drawing, figure, image, cast, phonograph recording, electrical transcription or other article capable of producing sound or any other matter of indecent or immoral character, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.
Basically, what every pornographer does right?!
More about the Miller case: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miller_v._California
Most people don’t realize that most porn is already illegal and can be regulated. We are providing a link for you here of Title 18 (aka: Federal Obscenity code), Chapter 71, starting at section 1460, where you can read the law for yourself. Also, here is the other fact, that the porn industry doesn’t want anyone to know, as they constantly use the First Amendment argument, if you don’t let them make or distribute porn, they say you are infringing on their poor 1st Amendment rights-boo hoo right? Well, did you know in 1973 the Supreme Court stated, that obscenity is NOT PROTECTED BY THE FIRST AMENDMENT!! That has been upheld. What that tells us is that porn is not protected by anyone’s 1st Amendment rights-many don’t know this, but that is the beautiful thing; the pornographers don’t want people to know that, and what actually is and isn’t protected, so they scream ìMy 1st Amendment rights, My 1st Amendment rights!î, and many times no one quotes the law, and calls them out on that argument, people jump back and say, ìOh, we can’t be infringing on First Amendment rights by going after them..î That is wrong-we have the law behind regulation of this smut. Porn/obscenity is not protected! Isn’t that beautiful?! So, the argument that their poor 1st Amendment rights are being violated-is a farse-they use it as a smokescreen, all anyone has to do is go back and read the 1973 Miller vs. California case which clearly states, that obscenity (most porn is obscenity) is not protected by the First Amendment-yet they continue to use this argument-most are highly uneducated too on this which is evident. Did you know that most states have state obscenity codes too? Chances are your state, makes porn obscene also, and can therefore be regulated!
So you ask, what’s the problem, why don’t the law enforcement agencies go after all the porn sites, and prosecute pornographers if it is illegal and obscene? The answer: that’s exactly what they should be doing, but they aren’t! Isn’t that pathetic?! Most pornography is illegal as its obscenity, our laws back that, and its been upheld by the Supreme Court, yet its allowed?! How can this be you may ask. Its the responsibility of the US Attorney is your area when you submit any pornography report, or alert them to obscene material to investigate, and the Department of Justice is supposed to be prosecuting and trying people who produce and ship porn over state lines, so why don’t they? This is our questionÖ.This should be every family, pro-family organization, & porn fighting organizations question. It should be a top priority concerning children & families. Here is where it started: It started in 1993, when the Clinton Administration essentially halted all porn prosecutions, as Janet Reno was AG then, because of what they did, in not continuing to prosecute pornographers as was done consistently in the 1980’s & in past administrations, they let the porn industry get away for 8 years with murder therefore allowing the porn industry to get as big as it is now-so we have that administration to thank for the growth that the porn industry has had to this day. You can almost single handedly tie it back to the Clinton years, letting the industry go for those 8 long years. So, this is the problem we have, with the porn industry making more than NBC, CBS, and ABC in revenue annually, because of those free years,courtesy of Bill Clinton. The simple answer to your question Roby35, is porn should already be banned, all obscenity, that is deemed obscene, and is not considered art and is obscene using community standards is illegal. This is why it is so important to put pressure on your US Attorney in your district if you encounter porn or obscene material, to e-mail or write the Department of Justice, and tell them enough is enough, start prosecuting porn. They are the ones who could prosecute if they choose, but only recently have they been starting to prosecute more porn cases, smaller porn shops though, not the big guys. Why aren’t they bringing charges against Hugh Hefner, Larry Flynt, the whole lot of them-they should! They distribute obscene materials across state borders, which is illegal..Are they perhaps afraid of them-what else could be the hesitation? When something is illegal, why won’t the DOJ do the legal thing and prosecute these people..This is why we must protest, why we must write, why we must expose what is not being done here, calling for action & investigations of pornographers by the Department of Justice-they owe the public thisÖThat is why we went with other pro-family groups in May and protested right outside the doors of the DOJ, with picket signs calling for them to start to prosecute obscenity again. The next time our groups do this, we should have thousands of concerned moms, daughters, families there putting pressure on the DOJ. Last time we checked, it is a government entity, so that means we pay their salaries right? So, another simple cause why we have this problem, the DOJ isn’t doing their job protecting the public from smut-plain and simple. Brent Ward is responsible for the Obscenity Task Force-write him, and tell him that you support vigorous efforts in prosecuting hard core pornographers, and that you are very concerned that his department isn’t doing this much anymore.
Judge Kozinski’s friends, as he stated himself who, “forward this stuff to me all the time” could be prosecuted for violation of federal and state obscenity laws-they participated in transporting electronic obscene material over the Internet across state lines in giving him those raunchy pictures he put up on his site-that could be criminal. If the judge forwarded his porn pictures to others, he also could be partaking in criminal activities-violation of federal obscenity law. It changes the perspective quite a bit doesn’t it, when you relate it to the existing laws that we already have!
If you encounter a porn site, or obscene material, REPORT IT FRIENDS! You can go to our friends at: www.obscenitycrimes.org, there is also a banner link on the front page of GAP. The report will be forwarded to your US Attorney, and the Dept of Justice. Whether they do anything is another matter but report it anyway, and follow-up with them, and insist that they investigate. Be a thorn in their side! We do this. Don’t you love prodding people to do the jobs that they are paid to do, but who don’t?!. Keep up the fight!
August 29, 2008
Firstly I want to say thank you for your website first time i saw it and glad it,s up! sadly in this world not only do men watch porn but women and children as well,and i was wandering how can porn be banned for good with no kind of web sites for any1 who maybe watching it to see them at all!
Roby35
July 30, 2008
Hate it. Its stupid and sets you back into a deep depression. My (now) ex boyfriend watched it and would compare me to the girls he saw. It hurt my feelings that I couldn’t be everything he wanted. I’d try, but nothing pleased him anymore. I finally sought help for him a year ago.
He’s struggling to break the addiction, but is doing very well.
July 16 , 2008
I think this website is fabulous.
My husband is in denial that he is addicted to porn. It’s not only a damaging thing, but it hurts me greatly to know he watches it.
I am trying to start a campaign and a website against porn.
So, why is getting porn off of military bases important you ask? Listen to what happened just recently to one soldier because of porn:
http://www.cwfa.org/articledisplay.asp?id=15446&department=BLI&categoryid=commentary
As our soldiers and citizens get more addicted to this stuff because of the availability of it, it is the progression that happens with porn addicts-many start to gravitate to harder core things, such as child porn, as this soldier did. Now, he finds himself discharged and in prison. If you’ve ever seen Dateline’s, To Catch A Predator, doctors, lawyers, TEACHERS, you name it, are caught soliciting sex from children! So why is the DoD allowing this junk on military bases, when this is the punishment for viewing child porn in the military, being discharged & prison! Yet…the smut is still allowed to be sold on military bases?! How does this even make sense?! This soldier also, was exposing himself to girls. How much louder do we have to yell, this is what happens with porn addictions. It is detrimental to all parties involved. Ladies-Please fill out our Military Honor & Decency Act form on the GAP homepage to send an automatic e-mail to your senators to co-sponsor the bill, to help Rep. Broun get this crucial bill passed, that will get porn off of military bases once & for all! Please call your US senators, and personally ask them to co-sponsor this bill, and keep calling them, until they actually sign up to co-sponsor. Rep. Broun needs as many sponsors as he can get, and you will be helping to protect children, families, wives & girlfriends, just by helping to get a co-sponsor for this bill-that is such a great thing, to know you are helping many, many people, by helping to get this bill passed. On this 4th of July, let’s tell our soldiers thank you, by helping get smut away from their families, and materials, that can/have destroyed their families. It is all obscenity, which is illegal.
Let’s be apart of making sure that Hugh Hefner’s revenue this next year is diminished-we would all be happy to help in contributing to that! In fact, it is sincerely our pleasure; Playboy currently at $4.89, let’s gear up ladies, and help to lessen that revenue even more, by getting it off of the bases, and then watch the stock price dwindle to nothing (even though its practically there already:-)).
June 23, 2008
I thought this was rare to feel until i found out about gap and other against porn sites but, the one thing that I hate more than anything is porn. And not just porn but, anyone who tries to be sexual or dresses inappropriately disturbs me. I’m that kind of person who can get along with anyone but, when a girl puts her sexuality out there I don’t want to be her friend. It also bothers me because either girls or boys, if you have a relationship and your girlfriend or boyfriend is looking at porn or likes looking at other people it tell’s me that I’m not good enough for him. I’m so horrible to him that he had to go out of his way to look at some woman he doesn’t even know to get him off. It disgusts me. Those playboy girls have NO respect for themselves. You can not respect anyone else until you respect yourself. What do their families think? They must be embarrassed. What about their children? When their children go to school and other children find out about porn and find out about their Mom the kid get’s made fun of. It’s selfish! Why would anyone want that kind of job? Usually people are embarrassed when someone accidentally sees them naked. I’m also a young girl but, I am already an EMT and going into the Fire Academy. Those girls need to get real jobs like the rest of us. It’s not fair that they get paid to do something we can all do. Yes, all females have boobs!! Just in case no one knew that. We all have the same parts. THey are nothing special. Anyone can be a porn star. Just take off your clothes and don’t eat anything. There are so many women who work hard for there money. I think Playboy should be banned and all of the others. It’s also because of them that the hard working girls can’t be taken seriously. Porn is so disturbing and disgusting! And I don’t mean to be cocky but, I feel very confident that I could walk up to any of those porn stars of the year or what ever and say yeah I am pretty and better looking than you are. Thats another thing I have noticed. The pretty women are the ones working in the office or doing real jobs. Those women I can’t even envy. I think those women are ugly. And its not just appearance. It’s how they display themselves. If someone is mean to you they become ugly. I really can’t explain everything in words, how much I hate porn. It bothers me a lot and I think about it everyday. I hope one day porn will be rare to see.
Armedbabe007
June 18, 2008
Recently I attended a chapter meeting for Concerned Women for America. (www.cwfa.org) Without me and my 3 friends, there would have only been 4 women at the meeting (for the entire state). Find a proactive group and get involved. CWA is very influential and knows the issues. We need to start making some noise.
On a more personal note, my sister had a babysitter over to watch her kids. While my sister was gone, the babysitter got online and viewed porn. Please log out of your computers or turn them off when you leave a babysitter.
Keep up the fight! We can do it! We HAVE to do it!
Ladies- We need to stand up and be proactive!! WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!! Several friends and I met with our Senator Jon Kyl about pornography. He told us if concerned people everywhere would start calling, emailing and visiting their elected officials that it’s the “squeaky wheel that will get the grease.” We have to begin dialogue with our elected officials about pornography.
June 16, 2008
Good Evening –
Tonight, I consider myself very lucky! And here’s my story ladies …
I am divorced, in my mid-30’s (no children by choice), but couldn’t be happier with my life! Although pornography had nothing to do with my divorce, I did – on occasion catch “traces” of my ex-husband’s interest / visits to porn sights, but know that it was fairly infrequent. Regardless, just the splattering of visits was enough to leave me feeling unattractive, inadequate, many of the same feelings expressed in the comments below …
Perhaps the most embarrassing moment for my ex-husband came when I caught him watching scrambled porn on a television channel we did not subscribe to. (You know when the picture is “fuzzy” on cable premium channels.) He thought he was pretty smart, and I thought it was pretty odd, that each time I entered the room – he changed the channel. Hmmmm…. well, that’s nothing that the old “recall” button won’t solve on the remote! Haha, busted! Regardless, I can laugh about it now – perhaps it’s women’s intuition, or heck – we’re just smarter (wink-wink), but eventually we will find it!
The point of my posting this evening, is to illustrate my frustration with porn, and dang it – with men in general. (Promise I’m not a man hater …) I’ve been dating a kind man, has sole custody of his 2 children, regularly takes them to church – excellent father. I had been struggling with whether being an “instant mother” was the right situation for me, but I have slowly fallen in love with this man – and have grown to know his family, etc. Was certainly considering making the relationship more permanent. He proposed to me in April, but I declined saying I wasn’t ready. (To which he accepted well.)
Anyway, he and I live some distance from one another – and usually see each other twice a month, sometimes more frequently. I have always noticed that he’s been very guarded with his computer. Allowing me access to visit the weather channel, etc – but only allowing me to use one of the “dumby” user accounts. (Never his.) Now, we gals aren’t stupid … I knew (even from the get-go) that this was a bit suspicious, but never mentioned it to him.
This past weekend, he had left his user account logged in – (which is a first) – and I’ll admit, temptation got the best of me. (Which I should be ashamed, and I am.) But as I hit the drop-down list at the top of the explorer page, a good 10-12 very blatant porn sites were listed. I was crushed – and actually found a way to excuse myself from his home (and my visit for that weekend.)
Warning, graphic: I had always noticed during our romantic encounters – it seemed that the time he needed to “enjoy” the activities was a bit unnaturally long, for a typical man. I knew there had to be a source of the de-sensitization. Thus I immediately suspected a correlation between the locked-down computer and the …. yeah. You get where I’m going. (I should add that I only participate in such activities in a very, very committed relationship to which I foresee marriage being a possibility.)
So, to close – why do I feel lucky tonight ladies? I feel lucky because I did my homework (even if a bit in the wrong with my methods), and I will be ending this relationship – and returning to my healthy, happy single girl life! Lucky that I discovered his habit at this point in our relationship. Lucky that I have enough self-respect to walk away – and hold my head high! Pornography is wrong, period. I won’t have it in my household, I won’t associate with anyone who participates in it, period.
I hope, if other readers gain anything from my post – do your homework, trust your instincts and simply think enough of yourself to realize you don’t have to accept your partner’s (husband/boyfriend) addiction to porn. If the situation is unhealthy for your or your children – walk away, love yourself enough to know that it’s always better to be single than sorry!
Single-not-Sorry!
About a year ago, I attended a women’s networking meeting. As part of the protocol for these meetings, everyone takes out their business cards, and passes them to the other women at the table, the networking portion. As you can imagine, the Girls Against Porn card, caused a stir, and conversation began to spill out immediately from everyone (it always doesJ). By the time all of the stories had been shared by all of the women, it was safe to say, that the conversation around GAP, became the focal point. More than Ω of the women at the table shared stories in their lives, either regarding personally being affected by porn or having someone close to them who had been affected by porn!! More than Ω!! It wasn’t just they had heard of someone, a niece, a daughter, etc., whose husband had a porn addiction, all of the stories that were personal, included lives that were DESTROYED by porn (divorce or complete relationship break up). This was a sobering moment, because in essence, the more people we talk to, the more women we meet, the more coalition groups we work with, it is rare, that in some fashion, some way there isn’t someone who hasn’t been affected by the consequences of a husband or boyfriend’s porn addiction detrimentally. This is so incredibly sad isn’t it?
We often think, what about the marriages, that would still exist today, the children that would exist, if porn didn’t exist, what about the relationships, that might have been, if porn hadn’t destroyed them? Picture that for a moment, and then multiply that times all the stories mentioned above from this group of ladies just at one meeting. Imagine the pain that could be removed from so many of your livesÖWe wish we could do that with a snap of a finger, without hesitation we would. This is why we must turn that pain, into a female coalition that fights against this perversion, this industry that makes their living destroying your lives. They don’t care how they infiltrate your children’s minds & our homes as this is their goal to get people so hooked on this stuff, that it becomes like a drug; so we must care. Can you put a price on the pain that porn has caused you? We know, from below, that many of you are dealing with a hard and extremely cruel reality right now or in the past, because of an industry that only cares about profits & breaking the law (since obscenity is illegal), and in situations where you have an addicted loved one now. If you are considering divorce, or if your fiance has a porn addiction, you are devastated. Have any of the playmates ever stopped to talk to you about how their boyfriend has ruined your life? Many addictions among men as we have been told time and time again, started years ago, with Playboy magazines stashed in the garage, before the Internet made it so easy to access. Instead they choose to spend their time, recruiting for new playmates at your local Olive Garden, which is their latest campaign. Many of you have wondered about their mothers & how these girls were raised, I think we all have. All of this, while you are in a reality that you never anticipated, never dreamed. For that, we are so very truly sorry. That is why we are here, as a support network for you, to provide resources/books, counseling avenues, that have been recommended, and it is our greatest hope, that because of your experience with this smut, you will join with us and fight porn, and any anti-porn/obscenity group for that matter. Turn that bad in your life, into something good, to fight a horrible industry. Millions of women are needed, to stand up and say enough is enough, to insist that the government enforce obscenity laws (laws against porn/any obscene material) as these already exist on the books, they just aren’t being enforced by the Department of Justice (hence our participation in a demonstration at the DOJ in May), and the more we ban together as individuals & groups, especially females, considering the largest porn outlets that exist today, were either founded by, or are run by men—it will be the women, who must stand up and say no more broken marriages/relationships, the immorality, the smut, which is tied to child prostitution, child abuse, underage porn, mental health issues, sexual trafficking, and the list continues to go on. If anyone ever tells you, who supports porn, that you are infringing upon their First Amendment rights-this is the largest form of crap you could ever get. Tell them to go back and read Title 18, of the federal obscenity code (www.obscenitycrimes.org), and tell them to get educated on the 1973 Miller case, where the Supreme Court stated, that obscenity is NOT protected by the First Amendment, so they had better get out of their delusions & get educated on the facts, and have them read the Attorney General’s Commission on Pornography report. If you ever read the report in its entirety, the details are extremely graphic, of what this commission had to view, things that we couldn’t even repeat on this blog.
Eighty percent of women in the movies & porn industry were sexually abused, and in doing research, it is clear to see, that they are searching & many are lost, if you hear many testimonies, they will explain this (www.shelleylubben.com , www.iamatreasure.com), and many groups exist now to try and get them out of the industry and get them on the right track, which scares the pornographers. Our friend Shelley Lubben devotes her life to doing this, and so do the girls at Treasures, all x-industry girls. More support to these groups means, the more girls getting out of the industry, and the industry gets smaller and smaller. The biggest thing you can do, if your life has been destroyed by porn, is to get some counseling for yourself, and to work through what you are going through and to talk to others who have gone through it, or vent your feelings on the blog, but it helps towards receiving that healing, that your loved one with the addiction cannot provide to you, and secondly,ladies, when you are ready after receiving healing & even in the midst, help the anti-porn organizations fight this. The worse this gets, we will begin to see all of our children affected by this, living and growing up in a porn infested world. There are many out there, who are trying to change that, you can take the first step by acting on our Action Alerts on the homepage, and by signing up for the newsletter-you can make a difference, through the pain that this stuff has caused you!
Some we’ve heard from, think, this isn’t an epidemic and there is no such thing as an addiction (mainly from men), especially those who don’t do research & who have never been affected, or know someone who has. The statement that there is no such thing as an addiction, we won’t even dignify with a comment, besides GET EDUCATED & get your head out of the sand!
Why have we met mothers fighting porn now, because their children were molested by porn addicts, and now work to do all they can to fight it? Why did a husband kill himself, because he was so distraught by his porn addiction & the guilt and shame that came with it? Porn kills, and destroys. We agree with you all, let’s continue to take action-press forward!
Help us get porn banned from the military basesÖThe Department of Defense in 2006, stated that Playboy & Playgirl, were not pornographic, therefore allowable on bases!! What were they smoking you ask?Ö..We don’t know..
June 4 , 2008
You know i think that porn is stupid its just another excuse for guys to look at other girls its ridiculous. Pretty pathetic that guys cant be faithful to their girlfriends. I wish that porn was banned i don’t see the need for it to be on the internet anyway it just gets everyone in trouble.
May 28 , 2008
My husband of 25 years has always insisted on a subscription to playboy. I’ve never liked it and have often complained to him about it. I never really forbade him to buy it. I caught him looking at online porn several times and embarrassed him I think, by simply giving him a “look” and asking if he was spending money on it. Which he denied.
Well, to make a long story short, I recently found him enthralled in his playboy and later ripped every single nude color image I could find inside it out, and replaced it in the rack. He’s always claimed he only wanted them for the articles anyway.(eye roll)
After a little spat about it, I explained to him that I was sorry but jealous. I reinforced the fact that it made me feel bad. He admitted he’d not renewed his notice several weeks ago and hadn’t told me. I also let it be known That I felt like he deserved better than porn sl*ts, he agreed. So I’m happy.:)
These magazines & internet porn is trash ladies.Its cheating. Its the strip clubs next door neighbor. Its demeaning to you just letting him off without giving him your opinion on the subject. Don’t put up with it without voicing your discontentment.Don’t let people tell you that men just need a visual stimuli- that should mean you. Don’t condemn your partner and give him every opportunity to see that it doesn’t enhance performance in the bedroom, thats up to the couple sharing the bedroom. A woman who feels like the center of his universe in bed will make him feel like Atlas!
Good luck girls.
May 27, 2008
we aren’t doing enough to dismantle the entire industry. That’s my goal! We need to do more than just talk about it. We need to take action.
wghafar
May 22, 2008
Hi ladies. I am so glad that you wives are taking a stand! I just kicked my husband out of our apartment for lying to me for 5 years about his porn addiction. I was one of the women who actually caught her husband in the act of masturbating to porn while I WAS ASLEEP ON THE COUCH!!! I left him a few months ago but came back and he said I had “scared him straight”. I actually started to believe him but I NEEDED to know so I could let it go…
I put spyware on his computer on a Friday night and then we were together for the whole weekend. Monday morning when I got to work I looked at his computers really thinking that everything was going to be fine…by 10:30 am he had already hit 9 porn sites. “Playthingz” is his favorite. Ugh!
I called him and he tried to deny it at first until I told him what I had done. I told him to “get the H*** out you rat b******!”
Unbelievably or not he told me he was “relieved” that I had done that and that he truly wanted help. I still made him move out but we are in marriage counseling and I continue to check his computer every day. If he truly wants to though he’ll just get a dvd…
Ladies, after all the hours of research I’ve done on porn addiction while there are a lot of variables that change there is one thing that remains a constant. There is a VERY low success rate for overcoming porn addiction. (*Note: Last sentence removed due to description not viewable by minors, by GAP administrator)
God Bless you
All and Good Luck!!
May 21, 2008
what is wrong with the world now days? Isn’t anything sacred anymore. Like the female body? How about, how every R rated movie now days has to have naked chicks in it? why? My fiance of 2 years has been caught twice now looking at porn. The first time, I was actually home when he was in the bathroom looking at it! I broke down and almost broke up with him and he promised me he would never do it again. well then a few months ago, I looked on his computer and he had been looking at it every day. I mean come on man! I told him, and he took no blame, and told me that all guys do it, and that he wasn’t going to stop and that I need to grow up. At that point I thought that maybe I was being immature. so I tolerated it. well yesterday I found a playboy in his briefcase. his computer broke last week, so I’m guessing he couldn’t wait that long to look at another chick. I hate him for it. and I don’t think i can get him to stop. I know that porn will be the end of our relationship. Its pretty sad that guys cant control themselves.
April 23, 2008
I find it sad, that so many people think porn is ok, wives and girlfriends go along with it, or get involved in it with there guys, rather than fight against it. What I can’t see is how these girls have any self esteem left at all. My husband has looked at porn since he was a young teenager, and it is like an addiction. We fight all the time about it, the biggest problem with it is these porn sites not only have porn, but they encourage people to meet up for sex. I know my husband looks at profiles of women who are looking to hook up and these site are as graphical as a porn site. How can someone say that that is not cheating. I live knowing that my husband goes online and looks for other women besides myself for sexual pleasure. I just don’t get it. HOW IS THIS OKAY! I wish the world would wake up. If a guy has to look at porn ,and lust over other women while in a relationship, then why is he in the relationship. He basically saying your just not enough. Thats the way I take it anyways. I talked to one of the girls he was seeing on MSN, she seemed to think she was just like porn, and he kept coming back to her. I had to talk to her to find out what was going on and to try and find truth out of the lies he told me. You know what her suggestion was , Why don’t you try looking at porn with him. WHATS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE! You mean to say I should just accept that my husband can’t be just satisfied with me and welcome other women with open arms into our bed…. All I can say is porn ruins marriage, I’m still married but my heart is scared with insecurities, and self esteem problems, just so my guy can be entertained.
April 23, 2008
Porn is currently in the process of ruining my life, my fiance that I’ve been with for 4 years keeps lying, and hiding it from me, and promising he’ll stop, then low and behold here it is again. I don’t know how he keeps getting me to stay, I just don’t know what to do anymore.
April 22, 2008
This is completely ridiculous! Us women need to get together and have another feminist movement with the porn industry! It is harming our children and us! We don’t have to take this. We shouldn’t stand for this. I just found out recently from a porn site on his computer that my husband of six years was leading a double life as a porn addict. Obviously I am very angry, betrayed, hurt, you name it, i’m feeling it. He is actually seeing a specialist, and we are taking the LIFEstar class as well but of course I cannot trust him ever again. And I have three kids with him that I don’t want affected by this crap! I have an idea. I would love to know what you all think about it and if you have any ideas for me. I have already emailed some groups against porn. My idea is this: if we can’t get rid of the porn industry entirely we can at least minimize the effects by making internet porn like cable as in people have to have subscriptions to get it and have to prove they are 21 and if they have a wife or someone living with them they must sign for it as well. At least we can get rid of the secrecy that surrounds it. And If they have kids steps needs to be taking to protect them. I would love to hear your opinion on this. You know I would love to just demolish this whole industry for women and kids everywhere!
April 20, 2008
My husband has promised – over and over – to stop. He has broken every promise. And he has exposed all 3 of our children to his addiction – by leaving his pornography where they can find it. A few months ago – my 7 year old daughter walked in on him as he “actively” watched porn on line. I am now getting my ducks in a row to leave him.
April 14, 2008
Porn has recently ruined my life. I am trying to get over the fact that the man i was going to marry has been watching it, and it devastates me. When i get over the shock, I wan’t to help and talk to as many women i can about the ill feelings it can produce.
April 11, 2008
MY final solution would be to ban all the internets! Therefore, no body could make the porno films no more! Then the proliferate could rise and wed see the end of the modern era! Power to the girl!!
March 30, 2008
I hope the women that have seen this site have looked at the incredible books suggested on this website. Try reading one with your husband, or counseling, which is nothing to be ashamed of because it takes honesty and strength, not weakness (see the options before divorce page). The books are more than stories but testimonials and there is always hope.
March 26, 2008
I have been married for 15 years now. My husband has looked at porn for about 14 years and promised to stop. He has never stopped. He was become better at hiding it. We are at the point in our marriage where I have to software on the comp so I can track his every move. It is very hurtful and not right to have to deal w/this. I’ve heard just trust me it wont happen again so many times. I’ve left him over and we renewed our vowels to come to find out he hasn’t stopped even after renew our vowels. He didn’t try at all. I’ve made myself perfectly clear to him he looks at one more pic i’m out of hear.
Its hurt our marriage I don’t trust him and don’t believe a word he says. I’m at the point is it to late. My advice to anyone who has this problem stop it now because it will never go away. Go to counseling get software put on your comp. And stick to what you say. My husband (i’m hoping) has finally realized that I’m serious I will leave even if I suspect anything.
I cant take it anymore. Porn is not for a married man.
March 17, 2008
This is a cool site. I’ve been married a little over a year. My husband would always make an excuse why we weren’t having sex…my intuition kicked in. But I was hesitant b/c emotionally he seems to really be a strong hold. I found out yesterday he is watching porn- and A LOT over a 2 week period. I am crushed. He just got mad when I questioned him. His reasons made no sense. He has to watch porn b/c he is upset? it was really pathetic. I love him but this is hard. I was actually watching news this morning and they were telling the public how to keep the flames-a-goin. What crap. I love my husband. I am there for him in every way I can. And tried to be where he pushed me away. I feel like real crap and he just has turned this all about nothing and that I am over reacting. But I am really hurt.
March 11, 2008
I support all efforts to eliminate the commercialization of sex in our society. As a recent law school graduate, I hope to encourage law makers that rendering commercialized sex available to the public was not the purpose of the 1st Amendment. The 1st Amendment was devised to enable people to speak their minds on issues, not to enable viewable, commercialized sexual activity.
March 6, 2008
I always found traces of porn on our computer and suspected plenty of times my husband viewed porn when I wasn’t around, but I came home early from work the other night and actually caught him “in the act”, which was a very heartbreaking and shocking thing to see. It is the same as cheating to me. I feel like I married a pervert and wish I would’ve known what I was getting into before I married him. He keeps promising he’ll stop, but I don’t believe him. It is tearing apart our marriage because I can’t deal with this anymore. I think we need counseling over this and possibly a trial separation.
March 2, 2008
Three things which we, ZoneIT.org, promote & ask you to promote, personally & through US Senators & US Representatives: 1. CleanFeed to block all illegal Child porn sites by both search engines and Internet service providers–already done in Canada & UK (England Wales, Scotland & Northern Ireland) 2. CleanLine Option–to require all service providers to offer their customers at homes and offices general porn blocking, to be done at the location of the Internet server providers’ offices & not at the customer location…thus a clean line all the way to the home or office. 3. Require all porn to be located on .XXX or .xUS or .xUK etc. .xNationalCode or .NUD parent domain websites so they are instantly recognizable and filterable when the customer wants to block them. Keep up the great work.
Noble III, founder of ZoneIT.org
February 15, 2008
Sexuality is something one cannot hide from. It is part of human nature. But human nature does not dictate that one should abuse the gift of sexuality. Sexuality was given to us by God, so that we may procreate to move the human race through time. To abuse that gift is nothing more than to cheat yourself of something beautiful. Porn is UGLY. It is a disrespect to human kind as a whole. I say those who participate in porn, make porn, are involved with porn, make money off of porn are nothing more than individuals with serious self doubts in themselves, so much so, they need to belittle, mistreat, put down, and even physically hurt another person in order to feel more powerful and worthy then what they really are. Any true self-respecting, intelligent individual, would not participate in such an ugly thing as porn.
Its a difficult battle to win, but i think that if gals and guys who are against porn work a little harder and with more ambition we can put an end to the sick world that has become porn. We need more websites like this, and more people to stand up and admit that porn has its part in helping tear society apart. Lets fight harder if we have to! Lets help all those gals….(and guys) who think they’re only way out of struggles is through porn.
February 12, 2008
i think its teaching use that its the only thing were good for. i hate the fact that the famous people can be in our eye but are most of the porn addicts. it is deeming to women and some men it teaches kids to starts having sex at a young age the worst part is i saw my first thing of porn at 5 on the computer because my parents were watching it and it scared me bad. Porn distorted my life and family because one of my parents were addicted to porn. my foster sister had to watch porn at 4 years old and is scarred for life PORN AND ADULT STORES , STRIP CLUBS AND EVRY THING TO DO WITH THAT NEEDS TO BE BANNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 2, 2008
There is hope! I volunteer with CP80. Our goal is to pass state and national legislation to protect children, families and businesses from Internet pornography. CP80 has a solution to block Internet pornography. The Internet is set up similar to the TV. The Internet Community Ports Act would make all Internet pornography have its own channel, or Internet port. If you didn’t want this port coming into your home, you could call your ISP and have them block the port. Therefore, you would never need a filter. CP80 has drafted a resolution on the state level that urges Congress to stop Internet pornography to children and employees. The following states will have the resolution introduced in January: CA, AZ, ID, and TN. Utah has already passed it. We closing working with elected officials in OR and TX. We want many more states to pass the resolution so we can send a strong message to Congress. Please visit www.cp80.org for more information.
January 2, 2008
I recently wrote an article on my blog in support of the Australian government’s plans to introduce a clean feed via ISP’s. In effect, this will block porn and violent websites but those who still want access will have to opt-out of the clean feed.
More information on my site at http://www.australianwomenonline.com/?p=113
Now I am being crucified and personally attacked on the Internet because I am one of the few to publicly support the clean feed solution. I feel I am all alone on this issue but I know I a can’t be. Unfortunately, all those who are talking about it being a violation of freedom of speech sling mud at anyone who doesn’t agree with them.
I need some friends in this issue and I would like to encourage everyone who agrees with the introduction of a clean feed blocking porn and violent websites in homes and schools, to write about it on their websites. But be warned you may receive a lot of opposition as I have.
November 24, 2007
www.elpornoestar.com Is a web site on spanish, this site shows the danger and consequences of porn, the message is for not to be doing the right things you do it the bad things.
November 21, 2007
My boyfriend is driving me crazy! Your article was great. I feel that why, I thought I wasn’t normal. You took the words right out of my head and heart. It seems like all men deal with this. I was beginning to form a hatred inside for them, but now I’ll think more deeply. thank you!
November 16, 2007
Hello, my name is mary, i have been married to my husband for 5 years, he has struggled with porn for ever… from running up high phone bills to cable bills..to almost breaking up our marriage!
We actually were guest on Tyra over his porn addiction, I will keep you informed when it will air.
November 5, 2007
lightdancers.org is an organization that was established as a ministry geared for the exotic dancer. During our first 7 years of ministry, we traversed uncharted territory in the creation and establishment of numerous printed resources written with the intent of encouraging the exotic dancer and reaching into the exotic dancing industry with the love of Christ
living waters is a 9 month healing program/group therapy(Holy Spirit led) for the sexually and relationally broken…they also have a program more appropriate for teens, the author and founder was delivered from Homosexuality and saw how all of the principles he learned from what he had to go through applied to heterosexual brokenness as well…..i highly recommend this group also any teaching from Sy Rogers(also has website) is authoritative on how to overcome lust and perversion in a believers life.
Shelter from the storm is a good bible study that helps women who have been abused(which applies to what a woman that has been exposed to ungodly sex through pornography goes through) and any material by Dan Alexander (Christian writer and counsellor with specialty on sexual abuse)
November 5, 2007
national coalition.org is a great organization
October 11, 2007
Kudos to you for your efforts. Our coalition in Maryland has a web site with many good resources. Esp. see our links page – www.mcap1.com.